I understand domestic violence - I get why people stay together, when it appears to everyone that the relationship is destined to fail, why people go back to those who emotionally or physically abuse them, why domestic violence happens. In my 10 years of experience, a true domestic violence victim doesn't call the police, the neighbors do, or an anynomous person does. Only in very rare circrumstances does a true victim of domestic violence actually call the police. And therein lies the problem.
Florida Statute 741.29 (4) (b) says that the officer shall determine who the primary agressor is. When two people are drunk (which is the case in almost EVERY domestic violence case I've handled - whether prosecuting or defending), it's very difficult to tell who the agressor is. A male will usually have scratch marks on them from female fingernails - bruises take longer to see. So often, the police arrest the woman, making the almost always wrong determination that she's the agressor because the man has scratch marks. Or, more often than not, the officer just takes the drunkest person to jail.
The law encourages the police to make an arrest. My suggestion is - walk away. Better to risk a psycho on the road than the inside of a jail cell. Because if someone calls 911 - 9 times out of 10, someone is going to jail. And the law encourages that.
Here's the worst part of all this domestic violence nonsense to me: The couple ALWAYS gets back together. To risk copyright infringment and quote Enminem: "when it's good it's goin' great but when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed, I snapped- who is that dude, I don't even know his name?" "Next time - there will be no next time." His latest video, with Rhianna is about domestic violence: wrong it is, how it happens, and how mixed up people's emotions are when it happens. You can watch it on youtube.
If you are involved in any domestic violence incident - there's tons of help out there. But the ultimate decisions lie with you. If you are a victim or have been arrested for domestic violence, call me. If I can't help you, I can point you in the right direction.
